How to realize and deepen a lasting polyamorous relationship

Polyamorous Manifesto


Moto: Instead of free sex we need free love and falling in love! Different to love and falling in love, which need no restrictions, sex should always be under control!


  • I Protecting the treasure
  • II Giving to the others and further enrichment


I Protecting the treasure


1) The primary relationship is the relationship with oneself, i.e. with one's own Self. That is the greatest treasure of each person.
The second most important relationship is the relationship with one's own polyamorous partner(s). Only the longevity of this relationship guarantees the successfull realization of the primary relationship. Why?!
A person who is in conscious contact with his/her Divine Self percieves also the Divine Self of his/her partner. Therefore, for such a person it isn't difficult to accept the limitations and imperfections of their own partner. On the other hand, by accepting the limitations and imperfections of their own partner, we at the same time also overcome our own limitations and imperfections, which are like veils which cloud our view of our Self. According to this, enduring in the partnership is enduring in the relationship with one's True Self.
Judah first betrayed the Divine Life in himself and only then the other man. In order that someone could betray or leave their partner, he/she must first betray or leave the relationship with his/her higher nature. That is why each longer lasting real partnership is at the same time a method for spiritual growth and self perfection.

2) In Komaja Meditation, but also in everyday fantasies, you primarily use visualisations with your core partner.

3) You are also bound with your partner by a written love-erotic contract (for an open marriage, zajedna, etc.)

4) The responsibility for your relationship(s) is also carried by your love-erotic godfather and godmother, whom you choose from among your best friends (but not from your tantric circle).

5) The person who comes into a polyamorous relationship may in the first year be sexually active with other people of the same polyamorous milleau only with the permission of his/her partner, the godparents and the tantric master.

6) New fallings in love, encounters and adventures must never cause the neglect of the core relationship(s), and if this nevertheless happens, the new relationship should be limited or even broken on demand of the partner (this right cannot be used more often than for two persons consecutively).

7) The usual rights and freedoms should definately be limited in the case of illness, in cases of being overwhelmed with study or business, during a crisis in the relationship, as well as in other similar cases for which the partners make an arrangement.

8) The person who already has experience of one or two successful polyamorous relationships which have lasted in total at least 5 years, should definately have greater rights and freedoms in comparison to the polyamorous inexperienced and/or unsuccessful partner.

9) The polyamorous milleau of a person who breaks their own love-erotic contract because of another person or simply because of the need for unlimited sexual freedom, is obliged to declare him/her as such.


II Giving to the others and further enrichment


1) Sex can be misused (for creating addictions, for power games, for money, etc.) but it can also be used (for stress release, for expressing love and affection, for healing of the body and soul, for reaching higher states of consciousness, bliss, etc.) So only fools and unenlightened people think that sex is done when "you get a hard on" or "you get wet".

2) With training and the culture of love and falling in love towards many people, by giving oneself to others as well, we enrich and make ourselves and the others happy, and in this way also our own partner (sex with third persons, if it is done with the right motivations and in the right way, affects polyamorous "marriages" in a very inspiring way).

3) The measure of freedom of each member of the polymorous community (open marriage, Komaja's zajedna and similar) is determined by the common interest for the protection and deepening of the already existing polyamorous community.

4) The measure of freedom is also determined by the measure of the (already confirmed) ability for realization of lasting love relationships (especially parallel ones).

5) In the case of conflict concerning the measure of freedom, the advice and opinion of the love-erotic godparents should be heard, and, if necessary, also of the tantric master.

6) Meetings with third persons (when, how often, with whom, why, etc.) are considered and decisions are brought together rather than each person for him/herself.

7) Freedom justifies its existence only if it refreshes and enriches the core relationship(s).

8) Freedom should be lived discretely in such a way which neither threatens the security of one's own children nor the children of others at all, and which is in accordance with the level of consciousness and the culture of the wider surroundings.

9) In cases where the relationship with one's own Self, as well as the relationship with the core partner(s) is impeccable there is, in general, no need to limit the sexual freedoms.

Because this manifesto is mainly intended for the members of polyamorous communities, whenever partner is mentioned it means all the partner(s) with whom one lives in lasting, most intimate relationship.The word "partner" is used in the text due to the need for linguistic clarity.




One Komaja method for realising Spirit’s full presence within one’s body, while simultaneously leaving all thought of oneself behind, is Love Meditation or Loving  – the  "Resting in Love". This exercise came about as the result of the knowledge that the path to divine unconditional love can be found via human incomplete love. By exercising, increasing and perfecting love for one human being, one finally reaches universal, divine love.


a) Loving or Love Meditation is performed in such a way, that a man and woman sit as close to each other as possible without touching. After some minutes of relaxation and concentration they slowly open their eyes and focus their gaze on their partner’s chest. This gaze must be accompanied by a complete self-opening, the natural, sincere melting into each other of two gentle and sensitive souls – because this is how our souls really are. As soon as the partners feel that they have entered the “stream” of subtle feelings, they lift their gaze. With longing, with noble desire, with compassion and understanding. Without fear. Without shame. Deeply, deeply, honestly. Normally, stronger or weaker trembling and a tremor of the lips and other areas of the face occur. If somebody feels uneasy because of that, he/she should close his/her eyes and wait until the tremor stops. This tremor occurs for the same reason as it can during individual meditation. Because of the sudden strengthened flow of prana, an accelerated relaxation and nourishing of the nervous system and muscle tissue takes place. One should also preferably close one’s eyes if fear, greed, a guilty conscience, great sadness or a similar emotion arises within oneself or one’s partner (since both open themselves sincerely and deeply to each other) and one does not have enough love and power at that moment to transform the negative energies into positive ones – whether within oneself or one’s partner. Once one feels enough power, one opens one’s eyes and lavishes the partner with waves of love and noble yearning until both come into an ocean of joy of love, until they dive into the world of unity.
Practitioners can help each other greatly in becoming conscious of their physical, emotional and mental energies, when during the meditation they point out - with their eyes, slight facial or hand movements or possibly light touches - whenever necessary that their partner’s forehead is wrinkled, that his/her face or lips are tense, etc. The partners can also speak to each other, though beginners should avoid that. Much, much patience and tenderness, as well as intense emotional engagement is required, as if this were the last tarrying in life with a person of the other sex. The quality of this meditation can be greatly enhanced by music which stimulates the emotions.
Duration of the meditation: between five minutes and fifty or more years.

b) Loving can be combined with the meditation for melting one’s chakras with one’s partner. The use of this meditation makes sense only when both partners already have some experience in Love Meditation. The optimal progression for melting in this meditation isheart chakra, forehead chakra, throat chakra, crown chakra, solar plexus chakra, sex chakra and root chakra. Between melting the single chakras, it can be useful to look at one’s partner’s face to regain security, emotional power et al. which have potentially been lost.

c) The third version of Loving is only appropriate for very advanced practitioners. While they focus their gaze on each others’ chests, the partners harmonize the vibrations of their emotional and mental bodies. As soon as the emotional and mental bodies have melted into one emotional and mental body the partners slowly lift their gaze – eye to eye. After that the phase in melting the feeling and thought-structures and a transition to the causal and higher levels follows. Only then does one experience true, pure, completely unselfish love. Only then is the name Love Meditation fully justified.
Now intense phenomena appear on all levels – sometimes even physically visible and measurable. When the meditation lasts for a long period of time, the partners can lie down in such a way that their bodies touch each other; first on their backs and after some time on their stomachs. Supine, one continues the event with closed eyes.

Loving or Love Meditation is, when performed properly, the most effective and safe means for developing clairvoyance as well as many other psychic powers. Its main goal, its essence, however, is love - love and consciousness.

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Xenia Ritter

Creative Media Producer, Design Artist